A Single Girl's Guide to Being Forever Alone.

Listen.  Can you hear it?  It's love.  And... it's in the air. 

Well, not for everyone.  Most certainly, not for me. 

Same.

Valentine's Day has always been my least favorite holiday.  Even on the years when I have had a Valentine or whatever, it still felt weird.  It's not like I'm special... I mean EVERYONE is getting flowers, chocolate, and goodies.  In middle school they literally gave out class lists so that you made a Valentine for everyone in the class, so that everyone was equal.  (Although, you always saved the bigger card or the best candy for that one cutie in class.) THEN, you go to high school, where it was all about who had a Valentine... and who didn't.  It just doesn't seem nice, you know?

Blah, blah, blah.  I don't like Valentine's Day, whatever.  

This post isn't about Valentine's Day, per se.  This is more about being single, especially on Valentine's Day.  

TO PEOPLE WHO AREN'T SINGLE (THE SIGNIFICANT OTHER-LY ENDOWED)

Here are a few things us single people are tired of hearing:

1) How are you single? YOU'RE SO GREAT! 

Oh honey, thanks for reminding me that yes, I am single.  I'm not that great... or else I wouldn't be so... single. Being single sucks.  What else sucks? People saying just how crazy it is that you are single. Ouch. 

2) It'll happen when you least expect it.

Okay.  I'm not expecting it.  ...Has it happened yet?

3) Having a boyfriend/girlfriend isn't that great, trust me.

I'm sorry... I can't hear you over the deafening sound of me being alone.  It is that great, don't lie to me.  I've been there!  Sure, there are downs, but there are always ups.  Don't try and humor the single by making it sound like a relationship is the worst, we all know you're lying.  You aren't fooling anyone!

5) Ugh, they don't deserve you.  You're too good for them.

Is this a thing?  Am I really TOO good for them? So much that they need to not date me?  No.  I liked them, they didn't like me, that's it.  Let's not try to make things worse. Plus, the whole "deserve" thing makes me sad, like I don't want someone else telling this guy they deserve better than me... that's just rude.  So I have no right to think that someone doesn't deserve me, that I'm above him (even if it's true...)  It's just not nice.  Let's be nice.

4) I CAN'T believe that you're single!

One last time... don't bring up the fact that your single friends are, in fact, single.  Or that it's crazy that they're single, I can tell you without a single doubt that they already know that they are single.  I know that I am single... We definitely do not need you there to hammer that final nail into the coffin.

Leslie Knope gets it... life sucks. Sometimes the "good guys" don't like us, and the "gross ones" love us.  Let's try to not rub it in, yeah?

TO THE CUTIES W/ BOOTIES LIKE ME THAT ARE... SINGLE

What is good about being single? Well... here is my personal list of things that are great about riding solo:

1) You get to figure out who you are.  

Want to learn to play the ukulele? Do it! Want to binge watch all of Friends? Do it! Want to strengthen your own testimony through personal scripture study? Do it!  This is your time to decide who you want to be.  

You might already be good, but there is better, and there is best.  Obviously we want to strive to be the best.  The best time is now.  Plus, I'd rather meet my new boo-thang when I'm already the cool confident I-just-fought-the-Huns Mulan and not makeup-smeared 'Who is that girl I see?" Mulan.  You know?

2) ....

Well, I don't have a number 2.  There really is only one pro that comes with being single that I can see.  In my opinion, we weren't meant to be alone.  Sure, we can survive, be a lone wolf, roam the Earth alone, but that's not how it's meant to be.

My advice?  If you are alone... don't wallow in it.  Accept it.  You are single.  Love it. Don't purposefully stay single forever, but don't be depressed about it. The moment you get into a relationship, it's going to be about the two of you.  Want to go camping that weekend?  Awesome, but first you need to see if he's free.  Want to go grab Thai food?  Make sure he hasn't eaten yet.  It's all about the other person.  This is your only time to do you.  So do it!  Make sure you are own personal Beyonce (the word Beyonce can be switched out for the word perfect) by the time you meet your future someone. 

Don't let Valentine's Day get the best of you.

Remember: all of this is my own opinion.  

My name is Kristen, I'm Single, ready to mingle, and I like to eat Pringles. (Also, I'm dating Channing Tatum. So.. yeah.)

My concious effort to subconciously make good decisions.

MERRY (BELATED) HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!

I hope that y'all had an amazing Christmas.  I know I sure did. Thanks to my co-workers, I was able to get enough days off so that I could fly home. It's true what they say, "There's no place like home for the holidays."

I love Christmas, but everyone knows that by 7pm on Christmas day, almost all of the "magic" is gone. The fancy dinner has been eaten, Santa already stopped by, and there are no presents left under the Christmas Tree. It's just kind of... done.

BUT THEN... a couple of days (7 days to be exact) later we are lucky enough to have another holiday. 

New Years! 

We throw away our old calendars and put out the shiny new ones (Are calendars shiny?) We start training ourselves to write on 2015 on all of our papers (even though you really won't start writing 2015 until at least July of this upcoming year.) People see this as a fresh start. This is when you start to hear about those dreaded "New Years Resolutions."

WHY? Why are they so dreaded? Last year I told someone about my resolutions and they said, "Oh.. wow. So you're one of those people... You make resolutions that won't even try to keep." Wow. Okay. First of all, thanks jerk. Yes. I AM one of those people. I'm one of those people trying to make an effort to improve myself. Second of all, why can't I keep them? 

Then I realized that to an extent... my friend was right. I always feel already improved just by sitting down and making resolutions. Like, wow. It's January 1st and I already have been productive and made a list. But.... It's true, I have no intentions on keeping them.

Example: "I want to stop drinking soda." Mmhm. Well I'm addicted to Diet Coke like a crack head is addicted to... crack. So, I lost that battle before it even started.

Well, I made the executive decision that 2015 is going to be MY year. I'm starting school again, I'm finally getting the hang of being a manager at work, and I am just all around starting to feel more confident. But how.. how do I ensure that it will be MY year? Like I said, most of my "goals" and "resolutions" feel unachievable.

So.. I went out and bought a book about self-improvement. It's kind of weird, but whatever.

It talks about being in a slump, and how being in a "slump" doesn't mean that you're selling your body on the street for money for meth, it means just not being 100% with where your life is at this very moment. 

"Ew, my thighs are fat."

"I hate my job."

"Why won't anyone love me?"

These are all thoughts that could qualify someone as being in a slump. And guess what I have realized? You don't have to BE in a slump. You can get out!

It's this concept of the conscious and the subconscious. You see.. we have our conscious. It's those "resolutions" we make every year; it's those ideas we have about what we want. But then you have the subconscious. It's completely different. This is what we believe, deep down. The two are almost never the same.... UNTIL you make them the same.

For instance...

Conscious- Yes. I want to lose weight this year, maybe I'll join a gym.

Subconscious- I'm not actually going to the gym because everyone at the gym is already ripped and looking super fly, so I'll just look dumb.

Result- I'm going to put nacho cheese on my Flamin' Hot Cheetos. 

NO. You see, that's the problem. We fool ourselves by making these goals and resolutions that we start off not believing we will do.  We really are our own worst enemies. 

HOW DO WE FIX THIS?

YOU are Beyonce. Be confident.

I'm a firm believer in the idea that we can achieve anything we put our minds too. 

"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, it's at the end of your arm." -Audrey Hepburn

Pop Quiz: Who is going to help you with these goals and resolutions?

Answer: You. You are the only one that can truly help you. Have a little self confidence. You can do it!

Go out there, make some goals. Take more time truly thinking about these goals that you are making. 

1) Write down 3 "resolutions" or "goals." 

2) Draw a line and underneath that line write down what's keeping you from achieving that goal. (Let's be real, there is always something. If there wasn't something keeping you from your goal, you would have already achieved it.)

3) Draw one last line underneath the reasons you just wrote down. Now write down how you're going to fix those. And THAT is what your resolutions should be. Not the things that you want, but fixing the things that keep you from getting what you want.

To end my little rant... here's a quote from the author of that book I was talking about earlier:

“You are perfect. To think anything less is as pointless as a river thinking that it’s got too many curves or that it moves too slowly or that its rapids are too rapid. Says who? You’re on a journey with no defined beginning, middle or end. There are no wrong twists and turns. There is just being. And your job is to be as you as you can be. This is why you’re here. To shy away from who you truly are would leave the world you-less. You are the only you there is and ever will be. I repeat, you are the only you there is and ever will be. Do not deny the world its one and only chance to bask in your brilliance.” -Jen Sincero

Don't be afraid to make some resolutions, I know I'm not. Kick 2015's butt.

Cramps, Virgin Lips, and Manicures! Oh my!

I've been lucky enough to always have amazing guy friends. I'm not the "I don't hang out with girls because they are too much drama" type of girl. I'm just the "I'm friends with everyone" girl.

(Fun fact: The "I don't hang out with girls because they are too much drama" girl really needs to be a red flag for you guys out there. That actually translates from girl talk to normal people words to be "I am crazy and I cause drama with girls... So I just hang with boys." Just an FYI.)

These past few weeks there have been many instances where I was the only (or one of two) girl(s) hanging out with a group of young men. During these hangouts, my guy friends have said things either about girls or to girls that made me realize that they have no idea what's going on inside a girl's head. I mean sure, girls can be confusing, I think that's an obvious. BUT, I think that guys are taking this "men are from Mars and women are from Venus" thing to a whole new level. They just assume things. You know what happens when you ass(u)me..

So, I'm taking it upon myself to clear up a few misconceptions. This is for the guys so that they know what is really going on in a girl's head. This is also for the girls so that they can finally see what guys are saying.

Stupid Idea #1: "I don't want to ask her out. I don't want her to think I love her..."

One of my favorite people in the world said this, and if he is reading this, I doubt he will even remember saying it. The reason I have included this in the misconceptions is because I have heard it said so many times!

Friend #1: Why don't you ask out *insert girl name here*?
Friend #2: Oh, I don't know. She's cool. I just don't know if I like her like that. 
Friend #1: Well... it won't hurt to just go on one date.
Friend #2: But I don't want her to think I'm like.. In love with her.

WOAH. NO. NO. NO. NO.

Listen, dating is great. Just like a sport or a skill, it's something you have to practice, So ask that girl on a date. You know why? Because she's cool. If it doesn't work out, then you'll have that experience or maybe even a new friend. If you still have that mentality that girls will just fall in love you, you probably need to mature a little with a little more dating practice anyway. Take that girl on a date. Trust me, she won't think that you are in love with her. TRUST ME.

Stupid Idea #2: "You have cramps? Ouch. It must suck to be a girl."

Yes. Women are biologically different than men. Does that mean that you have to point it out every five seconds? No. Should you blame a girl crying or a girl that is angry on their "time of the month"? No.

Helpful tip: If it IS her "time of the month" and you blame whatever is happening on that.. you lose. If it ISN'T her "time of the month" and you blame whatever is happening on that.. you lose.

Just don't do it. Listen to her, make her feel normal, give her Advil. It'll all be okay.

Stupid Idea #3: "She hasn't kissed anyone yet, she needs someone to break her in.. Might as well be me."

Oh honey. No. If that girl hasn't kissed someone yet, she isn't going to waste it on you. I feel like we live in a generation of super low standards. Kim K is butt-naked (literally) all over the internet, every song we hear on the radio is about a crazy one night stand, and babies are out there having babies. We need to start respecting high standards. 

If her standard is she won't kiss until after the 3rd date? Good! If she hasn't kissed someone yet, that's probably because there hasn't been anyone worth kissing. Respect that. Please, oh sweet dear goodness, don't take it upon yourself to de-virginize her lips. K. Thanks.

Stupid Idea #4: "I don't even look at a girl if her nails aren't done. She needs to wear blank, blank, blank. She needs to look like blank and blank. And she HAS to blank and blank."

I have a wall with magazine photos of very attractive men all over it. But it's just so unrealistic. I mean, do I think Liam Hemsworth is a very, VERY, attractive man? Yes. Should I set a goal for nothing less than him? Well, let's just say if I do.. I'll be very lonely.


It's great to have a little check-list. But maybe instead of this:

"Must be under 5'5, tan, perfectly manicured nails, perfect smile, and eyebrows on fleek." 

Maybe something more like,

"Great smile that can make me smile, a contagious laugh, cares about others as well as herself, and confident."

Obviously, you need to find someone that you're attracted to. Just, maybe you shouldn't be so harsh. Or if you are going to be that picky, don't be so vocal about it around other girls. It puts us down. Let's face it, most of the guys out there looking for a "10" are like.. a "7". And that's being nice.

Remember: If they don't want to date you, they are wrong. You'z a dime.

Boys, I love you. I just thought I would clear up a few things.  We are just like you. I'm sure saying things about the way you look, your bodily functions, or putting down your standards wouldn't make you feel great. Just be careful about what you say.


And remember.. girls are pretty cool too.

Gobble, gobble.

WARNING: SUPER CLICHE THANKFUL BLOG POST. DON'T READ UNLESS YOU'RE READY TO FEEL ALL WARM AND FUZZY INSIDE.

It's that time.  The time of the year when we start bringing the folding chairs in from the garage, strategically placing air fresheners around the house, and we purchase butter by the pound.  

...It's Thanksgiving week!
 

Every year I have the big debate on whether I should write an inspirational 'thankful' status on Facebook or do a tear-jerker worthy Instagram video of things I'm thankful for.  Because.. It's that serious.

So I decided that it wasn't enough this year.  I have so much to be thankful for.  Too much to be put into a 15 second video, and I just hate when you read a status and it says 'Read more' and you click to read more, and an entire novel pops open.  We get it, you're thankful, but still.. Ain't nobody got time for that.

IF you have time for that, here is my thankful post. (Also, you might get a shoutout. No biggie.)

First things first, my family is everything.

 

I love them so.  Have you ever heard that quote, "We might not have it all together, but together we have it all"? I feel like that kind of describes my family.  We are extremely dysfunctional.  In the best way. Kind of.  My Dad always answers his phone saying, "Is this Kristen Q. Walker?" (My middle name does not start with a Q.) My Mom has a thick Australian accent, so much so that I have to translate for her in public. Kristi is my 'stepmom' but is more like a best friend.  We gossip on the phone about pretty much anything and everyone.  (Watch out, we're probably talking about you.) My brother has perfected this dance called, "The Nakie Dance"... it involves him naked and dancing.  My sister Danielle is who knows where, doing who knows what. And my other sister Makayla is finally speaking English. (She's three.)  But you know what? I wouldn't trade them. Nope, because they are MY family.  And I love that. And I am extremely thankful for that.

I have a job, sweet.

 

Last fall I had my dream job. I was working at The Flower Patch.  Slowly, things began to look not so swell.  So I applied at a little Mexican restaurant on Center Street.  I got the job... the same day I interviewed.  Just like I predicted, The Flower Patch decided to make some choice decisions of their own, so I put my two weeks in. At that point my only profession was a server of all things Mexican-y.  The problem? I needed a steady income to help pay for school. (If you didn't know, servers only make $2.13 an hour, plus tips. So tip your servers!) But almost 2 months ago, I was asked to interview for the position of a manager.  I wasn't the first or even the most qualified person they asked to interview for the job, but it was exactly what I had been praying for. Now, almost 2 months later I'm finally getting used to the idea of being an adult with an adult job, but most of all.. I'm so, so grateful for this job.

Provo is the bomb dot com.

I moved here over two years ago, and there hasn't been a day that I've regretted that decision.  I read someone's Facebook status a couple of months ago talking about how crazy it is that we move away from our home at the age of 18, and that's it.  We're adults.  We need to make decisions, pay rent, have our own ideas, etc.  I wouldn't have been able to do that without moving here. But how have I become the person that I am two years later? Friends. 

 

Drum roll please... Here are the shout outs.

Dana- DANA. We met our first day in the dorms, and we've been inseparable ever since. I love her so much. She has seen me through boy drama, my first surgery, and the war zone that is our bedroom every day. I love you and so much and I'm so glad we got paired together that first year. Thanks for being my best friend.

Cassandra & Sheila- I met Cassandra and Sheila through a friend my freshman year at BYU.  I wasn't sure how I felt.  I automatically loved Sheila due to her brown-ness. Then, Cassandra turned on "F****** Problems" and I realized that we too, would be friends. We stuck together for the next year, we sent Sheila off on her mission, and we're patiently waiting for her to come home. Sheila, while boy crazy, was also one of the most humble people I've ever met. I love that.  Cassandra's heart is too big for her own good, she's loyal, and she has a dog named, Nephi.  You can't get much better than that. Thank you guys for always being there for me.

 
Lindsey- For the first two weeks Lindsey and I shared a room, we probably said two words to each other.  I can't really pin point the moment when it happened, but one night we just began to talk.  She spoke, I listened, and then I spoke and she listened. From that moment on she was one of my closest friends. I joke around and tell people that she's the 'perfect woman' and I think that's because I truly admire her.  She's thoughtful, caring, and always lights up the room.  Thank you Lindsey for being my friend.

Cassy Wassy- Cassy Wingo.  Well... She is one of the strongest people I know. She is also one of my favorite people. She would stay up and "jam" with me even though I can't sing or really play the ukulele; she always played along with me. She listens to me even when I feel like no one can hear me.  Thank you Cassy.

 Khloe- Khloooooooooe is my own little ray of sunshine. She goes out of her way to make other people happy. She's a better friend than I could ever be. Also, her family has adopted me in as their own, which is so nice. Basically, Khloé is da best. I'm so thankful for her TLC. 

Texas Boys- Lamarcus Perry, Marco Mummey, Jeremy Morgan, Will Heinrich, Luke Johnson, and David Fillmore will go down in my books as the best guys I will ever know.  (Except for my husband.. unless I marry one of them. Anyways..) These boys aren't all from Texas, but that is what they get grouped under.  I've never met an apartment that was so welcoming, kind, or loving.  They came to my apartment in the middle of the night, the night before my surgery, and gave me a blessing. It's something I'll never forget.  Also, #SlowjamTuesdays (and Mondays, and Sundays, and everyday.) Thank ya'll for always being there for me.

#JonHeath- Jon gets his own shout out because he is #JonHeath.  Jon is one of the funniest people I know.  He is pretty, perfect, and spiritual. (His words.. not mine.) I love Jon because he loves people. I don't think I've ever heard a deliberately mean thing come out of his mouth.  Thank you Jon for
always taking me grocery shopping and listening to my annoying stories.

The Jordans- One is the leader of our imaginary colony, and the other is my favorite twerker. I love these two boys.  They are two people in my life that I know that if I need something or to talk to someone, that they will be there in a heartbeat.  Thank you guys for being my constant.

Los Fam Bam- Los Hermanos has kind of consumed my life. But... I'm glad.  I've met the most amazing people there.  JD is someone that continually surprises me. I feel like every time I'm around him I'm witnessing him become better and better, and it makes me want to become better and better. Ethan is loyal... to the grave.  He will always be there for me, and I love that.  He is never wrong, and that's fine because I, too, am never wrong.  (Love you Ethan.)  Maggie is one of my best friends.  She listens to me talk for hours sometimes, but still manages to always make me feel important.  Tyler is like Yoda in a ridiculously tall and Peter Parker like body.  He always has the right advice for the right occasion. Jenny, Daniel, Bri, Collin, Colton, Whitney, Kelly, Oscar, Tyler C, etc you guys all make work worth it. Seriously, showing up and seeing that any of ya'll are working automatically make the shift a little easier to handle. I love it and I love you guys. Thank you all for being my friend.

(If you weren't mentioned, it doesn't mean that I'm not thankful for you. Whether we're friends or worst enemies, you've made a difference in my life. And I'm thankful for you.) 

Well, that's a wrap. And now I thank YOU for reading my blogs, for liking them, and for commenting on them.  This whole blog thing started as a joke. "Kristen talks so much, I bet she could write a blog." And, well here I am. Thanks for taking the time to read all of my nonsense.

I could write a novel about all of the things I'm grateful for, but this lengthy post will have to do. It all really means so much to me.

Thank you.

Girls rule, boys drool (and vice versa.)

This year has been one for the books, that's for sure.  I've changed.  Alot.  The way I think, the way I dress, and my opinion on Kanye West has all changed. (I can't respect the name 'Yeezus')

Also on that extensive list of changes? The way I view dating in Provo, Utah.

You see, if you would have asked me a year ago what I thought about dating in Provo, I would've told you this:

Dating in Provo sucks.  People are always looking for the next best thing.  Even if you are dating someone, and it seems like it's going well... it's not.  Because it will end soon due to the fact that the either you or your prospective other is constantly searching to find someone better. 

But now, in my graceful transition into maturity, I've realized that all of that is wrong.  Not only did I realize that those things were wrong, but now I have tips for myself and for others.  

You marry who you date.  So date.  That's how you'll meet people.  You'll learn what you like, what you dislike.  If you would've asked me before the summer of 2013 how I felt about guys and motorcycles I would've said, "Oh. That's hot." Now? Eh, I would much rather a guy with four wheels.  

So here are some things I've learned so far through my little dating experiences:

#1 If he likes you, you'll know.

We need to stop looking into things so much.  It doesn't matter if he brings you a bagel in the morning or if he touches your elbow.  If he likes you, HE will let you know.  I have sat on my living room floor for hours talking about all of the little things these guys do, and why those things mean that they love me.  But do they? No.  How do I know? Because I'm on my floor, not on a date with him.

Which brings me to..

#2 If you like them, let them know.

I want to just reiterate one more time just how long I've spent laying on my floor talking to my best friends about how much I like these guys.  Hours.  Seriously, hours.

"It's just so cute how he reads his Scriptures every day and then journals."

or 

"I can just talk to him for hours about nothing... Ahh.  He's perfect."

If he is so perfect, tell him.  One of two things will happen. Either he will say:

"Oh, I like you too.  Let's go out." 

Or

"Oh, I like you too.  It's just... you're like one of my best friends."

If it's the first one, CONGRATULATIONS.  If it's the second one, move on honey, you've wasted enough time.  

Remember: You are Beyonce.  Always.

and then my last piece of advice...

#3 You do you baby girl.

I've shed too many tears over boys.  But how do I get over it?  By remembering that it's not the end of the world.  You marry who you date.  You're not dating anymore? Then you're not getting married.  On to the next one.

Repeat after me: "I look good, I feel good, and baby.. I am good."

Focus on yourself, don't let past dating horror stories bring you down.  There are plenty of fish in the sea.  But really though, there are too many. Too many for you to be hung up on this one.

Put on a cute shirt, nice jeans, and spray a little perfume. Be social. Be happy. Because (as I've learned this past year) dating in Provo really isn't that bad. 

P.S. I'm available most weekend nights, for any of you inquiring on my behalf. ;)

Pero like, what's a Mormon?

"Kristen, why doesn't your family have it's own 'Sister Wives' show?"

"Woah, you're showing your ankles. Won't your priest get angry?"

"I just don't understand why you can't use electricity..."

These are all things I've heard over the years. (I grew up in West Phoenix.. not too many knew too much about my religion except for the fact that I was "The Mormon".)

Why?  Because I am a Mormon.  Well... there it is.

I belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  And I love it.

The LDS church is now more than 15 million strong and increasing in numbers.  We are all over the world.  And still, not many people know who we are, what we believe, or whether or not we drink soda.

With most of my friends being college aged, they will just assume we (LDS college students) roast weenies on the weekends and pray 20 times a day.

But really, this is what LDS young adults look like.  Normal people.  Doing normal things. 

 Every 6 months we have a General Conference.  It is a time when all of the leaders of the church gather together to speak to us, touch on important subjects, and to overall uplift the people. This past weekend was the 184th Semiannual General Conference. 

One of my favorite talks was by an apostle, Elder David A. Bednar.  He spoke about sharing the gospel with our family and loved ones. 

Whenever I hear a song that I just absolutely love, I have to tell EVERYONE. I'll sing it all the time, tweet lyrics, post it on Facebook. Because I love it, and I want you to love it.  Even if you don't love it, I want you to at least know about it. (Listen to Sam Smith's cover of Whitney Houston's 'How Will I Know'.  You're welcome.)

It isn't so much about trying to shove your beliefs down someone else throat, but it's simply sharing something that you love with someone you love.

"Our simple desire is to share with you the truths that 

are of greatest worth to us." -David A. Bednar

So I know that no one has time to read all of my thoughts and beliefs.  Also, ain't nobody got time to read through all of general conference right now.  So here are just a few of my key beliefs.  

•  I believe that this is Christ's church.  Our central purpose is to help all people come unto Him.
• The Book of Mormon is another Testament of Jesus Christ.  It is the keystone of our faith and a record of God's dealings with prophets and His children in ancient America.
• God has always communicated with His children through his prophets.  I believe that our Lord wouldn't leave us alone, and that he still has Prophets on this Earth today.
• He has given commandments through those prophets to help us live a happy life. Not to restrain us, but to free us.

And last but certainly not least, I know that my Father in Heaven has a plan for me.  That plan is known under many different names, but my favorite is the Plan of Happiness.  I am able to know who I am, where I came from, and where I am going.  I can know that even though times are hard, my family was hand-picked for me.  This is where I belong.  Best of all, I can have hope.  He knows each and every one of us, and that's something I can promise.

Even though he doesn't look too happy, these two are both a part of my Plan of Hapiness.

With all of that being said, feel free to ask any questions that come to mind. The way I see it, this church was restored all because of a 14-year old boy that wasn't afraid to ask a few questions.

 And remember, I love you.

Here is a link to that talk I referenced earlier, watch a few seconds of it.  It's pretty sweet.
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2014/10/come-and-see?lang=eng&media=video#watch=video

 Food for thought: "We are not here in this life just to waste out time, grow old, and die.  God wants us to grow and achieve our potential." -Elder Carlos A. Godoy

Losers That Sit Outside of Smith's

I think that the best feeling in the world is when you are surrounded by friends and loved ones; you are just happy. That moment when you can look around the room at everyone and just smile; that's the best feeling in the world.

What's one of the worst feelings in the world? Being in that same room surrounded by friends and loved ones, but feeling completely and utterly alone.

It happens. 

Last winter I found myself in a self-proclaimed schlump.  

Reasons For The #WinterSchlump2014

1. I was broken.  Literally.  I had broken my hand in three places that previous December in a freak accident. (Not really, just late night sledding gone wrong.)
2. In relation to number 2, I couldn't wear long sleeved shirts, or jackets.  If I did, it was more like a pancho-jacket. Which wasn't cute, trust me. I was cold. All. The. Time.
3. I was working as a waitress. That's it. Normally I had two jobs, but at this point, just dealin' out fajitas and salsa.
4. My poor family back home were dealing with red-headed issues. That in itself was a schlump.
5. Last but not least, due to the painkillers I was on for the hand, I was just kind of... out of it.

Now, this wasn't really that bad. I can look back now and tell myself to stop being a baby.  But at the time? It was the worst thing ever.

I vividly remember going to Smith's with all of my friends.  I told them that I had to make a phone call, but really I just didn't want to be around anyone.  So I sat by myself on a bench outside of Smith's in the snow.

For the sake of not looking like a total loser, I called my Dad to make it look like I wasn't just sitting on a bench outside of Smith's in the snow.

He answered, "Hello?" And it just all rushed out. I just started crying. The only words that came out of my mouth were, "I'm not happy.  I can't do this anymore. I'm not happy."

My Dad is the best. I'm not exaggerating.  He gave me some beautiful father advice. It was sweet. But still, I was sitting on a bench. Outside of Smith's. In the Snow. Crying.

(Just a visual of what I looked like.)

Anyways, a few days went by.  I just tried to keep busy and to try to forget the little break down I had.

Then, Kristi, my amazing Stepmom, sent me a text with this post. She told me that it had helped her and that I should read it.

http://lemmonythings.com/2014/01/05/god-will-give-you-more-than-you-can-handle-i-guarantee-it/

So that's what I'm doing here, right now. This blog has helped me, and I'm saying that you should read it.

My Heavenly Father knows me, He loves me.  I was so used to thinking that everything was easy if I was doing what I was supposed to be doing.  I was going to church, I went to FHE (more like I was forced to, as I was the FHE mother), and I was doing things in the right way.

BUT, I hadn't asked for His help.  I was just expecting my Heavenly Father to know what I need.  I mean, He does, but still, I have to ask.

He IS going to give us things we can't handle.  He WILL present us with decisions that seem impossible.  He IS going to give us trials we don't understand.

Why? Because He loves us.  He loves me.  He loves YOU. He wants each of us to come to Him.  I now know that if I do come unto Him, with a broken heart and a contrite spirit, that I will be able to be healed.

That's what I did that winter.  I got down on my knees, and I prayed.  I prayed harder than I've ever had to pray, asking for help.  Asking to not feel so alone.  And what happened? I realized I never was alone.  That He was always right there beside me.

This is one of my favorite photos.  Jesus is there, He is willing to help us through all of this, but He can't open the door.  We have to let Him in.

Don't let there be a #WinterSchlump2015.