Cramps, Virgin Lips, and Manicures! Oh my!

I've been lucky enough to always have amazing guy friends. I'm not the "I don't hang out with girls because they are too much drama" type of girl. I'm just the "I'm friends with everyone" girl.

(Fun fact: The "I don't hang out with girls because they are too much drama" girl really needs to be a red flag for you guys out there. That actually translates from girl talk to normal people words to be "I am crazy and I cause drama with girls... So I just hang with boys." Just an FYI.)

These past few weeks there have been many instances where I was the only (or one of two) girl(s) hanging out with a group of young men. During these hangouts, my guy friends have said things either about girls or to girls that made me realize that they have no idea what's going on inside a girl's head. I mean sure, girls can be confusing, I think that's an obvious. BUT, I think that guys are taking this "men are from Mars and women are from Venus" thing to a whole new level. They just assume things. You know what happens when you ass(u)me..

So, I'm taking it upon myself to clear up a few misconceptions. This is for the guys so that they know what is really going on in a girl's head. This is also for the girls so that they can finally see what guys are saying.

Stupid Idea #1: "I don't want to ask her out. I don't want her to think I love her..."

One of my favorite people in the world said this, and if he is reading this, I doubt he will even remember saying it. The reason I have included this in the misconceptions is because I have heard it said so many times!

Friend #1: Why don't you ask out *insert girl name here*?
Friend #2: Oh, I don't know. She's cool. I just don't know if I like her like that. 
Friend #1: Well... it won't hurt to just go on one date.
Friend #2: But I don't want her to think I'm like.. In love with her.

WOAH. NO. NO. NO. NO.

Listen, dating is great. Just like a sport or a skill, it's something you have to practice, So ask that girl on a date. You know why? Because she's cool. If it doesn't work out, then you'll have that experience or maybe even a new friend. If you still have that mentality that girls will just fall in love you, you probably need to mature a little with a little more dating practice anyway. Take that girl on a date. Trust me, she won't think that you are in love with her. TRUST ME.

Stupid Idea #2: "You have cramps? Ouch. It must suck to be a girl."

Yes. Women are biologically different than men. Does that mean that you have to point it out every five seconds? No. Should you blame a girl crying or a girl that is angry on their "time of the month"? No.

Helpful tip: If it IS her "time of the month" and you blame whatever is happening on that.. you lose. If it ISN'T her "time of the month" and you blame whatever is happening on that.. you lose.

Just don't do it. Listen to her, make her feel normal, give her Advil. It'll all be okay.

Stupid Idea #3: "She hasn't kissed anyone yet, she needs someone to break her in.. Might as well be me."

Oh honey. No. If that girl hasn't kissed someone yet, she isn't going to waste it on you. I feel like we live in a generation of super low standards. Kim K is butt-naked (literally) all over the internet, every song we hear on the radio is about a crazy one night stand, and babies are out there having babies. We need to start respecting high standards. 

If her standard is she won't kiss until after the 3rd date? Good! If she hasn't kissed someone yet, that's probably because there hasn't been anyone worth kissing. Respect that. Please, oh sweet dear goodness, don't take it upon yourself to de-virginize her lips. K. Thanks.

Stupid Idea #4: "I don't even look at a girl if her nails aren't done. She needs to wear blank, blank, blank. She needs to look like blank and blank. And she HAS to blank and blank."

I have a wall with magazine photos of very attractive men all over it. But it's just so unrealistic. I mean, do I think Liam Hemsworth is a very, VERY, attractive man? Yes. Should I set a goal for nothing less than him? Well, let's just say if I do.. I'll be very lonely.


It's great to have a little check-list. But maybe instead of this:

"Must be under 5'5, tan, perfectly manicured nails, perfect smile, and eyebrows on fleek." 

Maybe something more like,

"Great smile that can make me smile, a contagious laugh, cares about others as well as herself, and confident."

Obviously, you need to find someone that you're attracted to. Just, maybe you shouldn't be so harsh. Or if you are going to be that picky, don't be so vocal about it around other girls. It puts us down. Let's face it, most of the guys out there looking for a "10" are like.. a "7". And that's being nice.

Remember: If they don't want to date you, they are wrong. You'z a dime.

Boys, I love you. I just thought I would clear up a few things.  We are just like you. I'm sure saying things about the way you look, your bodily functions, or putting down your standards wouldn't make you feel great. Just be careful about what you say.


And remember.. girls are pretty cool too.

Gobble, gobble.

WARNING: SUPER CLICHE THANKFUL BLOG POST. DON'T READ UNLESS YOU'RE READY TO FEEL ALL WARM AND FUZZY INSIDE.

It's that time.  The time of the year when we start bringing the folding chairs in from the garage, strategically placing air fresheners around the house, and we purchase butter by the pound.  

...It's Thanksgiving week!
 

Every year I have the big debate on whether I should write an inspirational 'thankful' status on Facebook or do a tear-jerker worthy Instagram video of things I'm thankful for.  Because.. It's that serious.

So I decided that it wasn't enough this year.  I have so much to be thankful for.  Too much to be put into a 15 second video, and I just hate when you read a status and it says 'Read more' and you click to read more, and an entire novel pops open.  We get it, you're thankful, but still.. Ain't nobody got time for that.

IF you have time for that, here is my thankful post. (Also, you might get a shoutout. No biggie.)

First things first, my family is everything.

 

I love them so.  Have you ever heard that quote, "We might not have it all together, but together we have it all"? I feel like that kind of describes my family.  We are extremely dysfunctional.  In the best way. Kind of.  My Dad always answers his phone saying, "Is this Kristen Q. Walker?" (My middle name does not start with a Q.) My Mom has a thick Australian accent, so much so that I have to translate for her in public. Kristi is my 'stepmom' but is more like a best friend.  We gossip on the phone about pretty much anything and everyone.  (Watch out, we're probably talking about you.) My brother has perfected this dance called, "The Nakie Dance"... it involves him naked and dancing.  My sister Danielle is who knows where, doing who knows what. And my other sister Makayla is finally speaking English. (She's three.)  But you know what? I wouldn't trade them. Nope, because they are MY family.  And I love that. And I am extremely thankful for that.

I have a job, sweet.

 

Last fall I had my dream job. I was working at The Flower Patch.  Slowly, things began to look not so swell.  So I applied at a little Mexican restaurant on Center Street.  I got the job... the same day I interviewed.  Just like I predicted, The Flower Patch decided to make some choice decisions of their own, so I put my two weeks in. At that point my only profession was a server of all things Mexican-y.  The problem? I needed a steady income to help pay for school. (If you didn't know, servers only make $2.13 an hour, plus tips. So tip your servers!) But almost 2 months ago, I was asked to interview for the position of a manager.  I wasn't the first or even the most qualified person they asked to interview for the job, but it was exactly what I had been praying for. Now, almost 2 months later I'm finally getting used to the idea of being an adult with an adult job, but most of all.. I'm so, so grateful for this job.

Provo is the bomb dot com.

I moved here over two years ago, and there hasn't been a day that I've regretted that decision.  I read someone's Facebook status a couple of months ago talking about how crazy it is that we move away from our home at the age of 18, and that's it.  We're adults.  We need to make decisions, pay rent, have our own ideas, etc.  I wouldn't have been able to do that without moving here. But how have I become the person that I am two years later? Friends. 

 

Drum roll please... Here are the shout outs.

Dana- DANA. We met our first day in the dorms, and we've been inseparable ever since. I love her so much. She has seen me through boy drama, my first surgery, and the war zone that is our bedroom every day. I love you and so much and I'm so glad we got paired together that first year. Thanks for being my best friend.

Cassandra & Sheila- I met Cassandra and Sheila through a friend my freshman year at BYU.  I wasn't sure how I felt.  I automatically loved Sheila due to her brown-ness. Then, Cassandra turned on "F****** Problems" and I realized that we too, would be friends. We stuck together for the next year, we sent Sheila off on her mission, and we're patiently waiting for her to come home. Sheila, while boy crazy, was also one of the most humble people I've ever met. I love that.  Cassandra's heart is too big for her own good, she's loyal, and she has a dog named, Nephi.  You can't get much better than that. Thank you guys for always being there for me.

 
Lindsey- For the first two weeks Lindsey and I shared a room, we probably said two words to each other.  I can't really pin point the moment when it happened, but one night we just began to talk.  She spoke, I listened, and then I spoke and she listened. From that moment on she was one of my closest friends. I joke around and tell people that she's the 'perfect woman' and I think that's because I truly admire her.  She's thoughtful, caring, and always lights up the room.  Thank you Lindsey for being my friend.

Cassy Wassy- Cassy Wingo.  Well... She is one of the strongest people I know. She is also one of my favorite people. She would stay up and "jam" with me even though I can't sing or really play the ukulele; she always played along with me. She listens to me even when I feel like no one can hear me.  Thank you Cassy.

 Khloe- Khloooooooooe is my own little ray of sunshine. She goes out of her way to make other people happy. She's a better friend than I could ever be. Also, her family has adopted me in as their own, which is so nice. Basically, Khloé is da best. I'm so thankful for her TLC. 

Texas Boys- Lamarcus Perry, Marco Mummey, Jeremy Morgan, Will Heinrich, Luke Johnson, and David Fillmore will go down in my books as the best guys I will ever know.  (Except for my husband.. unless I marry one of them. Anyways..) These boys aren't all from Texas, but that is what they get grouped under.  I've never met an apartment that was so welcoming, kind, or loving.  They came to my apartment in the middle of the night, the night before my surgery, and gave me a blessing. It's something I'll never forget.  Also, #SlowjamTuesdays (and Mondays, and Sundays, and everyday.) Thank ya'll for always being there for me.

#JonHeath- Jon gets his own shout out because he is #JonHeath.  Jon is one of the funniest people I know.  He is pretty, perfect, and spiritual. (His words.. not mine.) I love Jon because he loves people. I don't think I've ever heard a deliberately mean thing come out of his mouth.  Thank you Jon for
always taking me grocery shopping and listening to my annoying stories.

The Jordans- One is the leader of our imaginary colony, and the other is my favorite twerker. I love these two boys.  They are two people in my life that I know that if I need something or to talk to someone, that they will be there in a heartbeat.  Thank you guys for being my constant.

Los Fam Bam- Los Hermanos has kind of consumed my life. But... I'm glad.  I've met the most amazing people there.  JD is someone that continually surprises me. I feel like every time I'm around him I'm witnessing him become better and better, and it makes me want to become better and better. Ethan is loyal... to the grave.  He will always be there for me, and I love that.  He is never wrong, and that's fine because I, too, am never wrong.  (Love you Ethan.)  Maggie is one of my best friends.  She listens to me talk for hours sometimes, but still manages to always make me feel important.  Tyler is like Yoda in a ridiculously tall and Peter Parker like body.  He always has the right advice for the right occasion. Jenny, Daniel, Bri, Collin, Colton, Whitney, Kelly, Oscar, Tyler C, etc you guys all make work worth it. Seriously, showing up and seeing that any of ya'll are working automatically make the shift a little easier to handle. I love it and I love you guys. Thank you all for being my friend.

(If you weren't mentioned, it doesn't mean that I'm not thankful for you. Whether we're friends or worst enemies, you've made a difference in my life. And I'm thankful for you.) 

Well, that's a wrap. And now I thank YOU for reading my blogs, for liking them, and for commenting on them.  This whole blog thing started as a joke. "Kristen talks so much, I bet she could write a blog." And, well here I am. Thanks for taking the time to read all of my nonsense.

I could write a novel about all of the things I'm grateful for, but this lengthy post will have to do. It all really means so much to me.

Thank you.

Girls rule, boys drool (and vice versa.)

This year has been one for the books, that's for sure.  I've changed.  Alot.  The way I think, the way I dress, and my opinion on Kanye West has all changed. (I can't respect the name 'Yeezus')

Also on that extensive list of changes? The way I view dating in Provo, Utah.

You see, if you would have asked me a year ago what I thought about dating in Provo, I would've told you this:

Dating in Provo sucks.  People are always looking for the next best thing.  Even if you are dating someone, and it seems like it's going well... it's not.  Because it will end soon due to the fact that the either you or your prospective other is constantly searching to find someone better. 

But now, in my graceful transition into maturity, I've realized that all of that is wrong.  Not only did I realize that those things were wrong, but now I have tips for myself and for others.  

You marry who you date.  So date.  That's how you'll meet people.  You'll learn what you like, what you dislike.  If you would've asked me before the summer of 2013 how I felt about guys and motorcycles I would've said, "Oh. That's hot." Now? Eh, I would much rather a guy with four wheels.  

So here are some things I've learned so far through my little dating experiences:

#1 If he likes you, you'll know.

We need to stop looking into things so much.  It doesn't matter if he brings you a bagel in the morning or if he touches your elbow.  If he likes you, HE will let you know.  I have sat on my living room floor for hours talking about all of the little things these guys do, and why those things mean that they love me.  But do they? No.  How do I know? Because I'm on my floor, not on a date with him.

Which brings me to..

#2 If you like them, let them know.

I want to just reiterate one more time just how long I've spent laying on my floor talking to my best friends about how much I like these guys.  Hours.  Seriously, hours.

"It's just so cute how he reads his Scriptures every day and then journals."

or 

"I can just talk to him for hours about nothing... Ahh.  He's perfect."

If he is so perfect, tell him.  One of two things will happen. Either he will say:

"Oh, I like you too.  Let's go out." 

Or

"Oh, I like you too.  It's just... you're like one of my best friends."

If it's the first one, CONGRATULATIONS.  If it's the second one, move on honey, you've wasted enough time.  

Remember: You are Beyonce.  Always.

and then my last piece of advice...

#3 You do you baby girl.

I've shed too many tears over boys.  But how do I get over it?  By remembering that it's not the end of the world.  You marry who you date.  You're not dating anymore? Then you're not getting married.  On to the next one.

Repeat after me: "I look good, I feel good, and baby.. I am good."

Focus on yourself, don't let past dating horror stories bring you down.  There are plenty of fish in the sea.  But really though, there are too many. Too many for you to be hung up on this one.

Put on a cute shirt, nice jeans, and spray a little perfume. Be social. Be happy. Because (as I've learned this past year) dating in Provo really isn't that bad. 

P.S. I'm available most weekend nights, for any of you inquiring on my behalf. ;)

Pero like, what's a Mormon?

"Kristen, why doesn't your family have it's own 'Sister Wives' show?"

"Woah, you're showing your ankles. Won't your priest get angry?"

"I just don't understand why you can't use electricity..."

These are all things I've heard over the years. (I grew up in West Phoenix.. not too many knew too much about my religion except for the fact that I was "The Mormon".)

Why?  Because I am a Mormon.  Well... there it is.

I belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  And I love it.

The LDS church is now more than 15 million strong and increasing in numbers.  We are all over the world.  And still, not many people know who we are, what we believe, or whether or not we drink soda.

With most of my friends being college aged, they will just assume we (LDS college students) roast weenies on the weekends and pray 20 times a day.

But really, this is what LDS young adults look like.  Normal people.  Doing normal things. 

 Every 6 months we have a General Conference.  It is a time when all of the leaders of the church gather together to speak to us, touch on important subjects, and to overall uplift the people. This past weekend was the 184th Semiannual General Conference. 

One of my favorite talks was by an apostle, Elder David A. Bednar.  He spoke about sharing the gospel with our family and loved ones. 

Whenever I hear a song that I just absolutely love, I have to tell EVERYONE. I'll sing it all the time, tweet lyrics, post it on Facebook. Because I love it, and I want you to love it.  Even if you don't love it, I want you to at least know about it. (Listen to Sam Smith's cover of Whitney Houston's 'How Will I Know'.  You're welcome.)

It isn't so much about trying to shove your beliefs down someone else throat, but it's simply sharing something that you love with someone you love.

"Our simple desire is to share with you the truths that 

are of greatest worth to us." -David A. Bednar

So I know that no one has time to read all of my thoughts and beliefs.  Also, ain't nobody got time to read through all of general conference right now.  So here are just a few of my key beliefs.  

•  I believe that this is Christ's church.  Our central purpose is to help all people come unto Him.
• The Book of Mormon is another Testament of Jesus Christ.  It is the keystone of our faith and a record of God's dealings with prophets and His children in ancient America.
• God has always communicated with His children through his prophets.  I believe that our Lord wouldn't leave us alone, and that he still has Prophets on this Earth today.
• He has given commandments through those prophets to help us live a happy life. Not to restrain us, but to free us.

And last but certainly not least, I know that my Father in Heaven has a plan for me.  That plan is known under many different names, but my favorite is the Plan of Happiness.  I am able to know who I am, where I came from, and where I am going.  I can know that even though times are hard, my family was hand-picked for me.  This is where I belong.  Best of all, I can have hope.  He knows each and every one of us, and that's something I can promise.

Even though he doesn't look too happy, these two are both a part of my Plan of Hapiness.

With all of that being said, feel free to ask any questions that come to mind. The way I see it, this church was restored all because of a 14-year old boy that wasn't afraid to ask a few questions.

 And remember, I love you.

Here is a link to that talk I referenced earlier, watch a few seconds of it.  It's pretty sweet.
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2014/10/come-and-see?lang=eng&media=video#watch=video

 Food for thought: "We are not here in this life just to waste out time, grow old, and die.  God wants us to grow and achieve our potential." -Elder Carlos A. Godoy

Losers That Sit Outside of Smith's

I think that the best feeling in the world is when you are surrounded by friends and loved ones; you are just happy. That moment when you can look around the room at everyone and just smile; that's the best feeling in the world.

What's one of the worst feelings in the world? Being in that same room surrounded by friends and loved ones, but feeling completely and utterly alone.

It happens. 

Last winter I found myself in a self-proclaimed schlump.  

Reasons For The #WinterSchlump2014

1. I was broken.  Literally.  I had broken my hand in three places that previous December in a freak accident. (Not really, just late night sledding gone wrong.)
2. In relation to number 2, I couldn't wear long sleeved shirts, or jackets.  If I did, it was more like a pancho-jacket. Which wasn't cute, trust me. I was cold. All. The. Time.
3. I was working as a waitress. That's it. Normally I had two jobs, but at this point, just dealin' out fajitas and salsa.
4. My poor family back home were dealing with red-headed issues. That in itself was a schlump.
5. Last but not least, due to the painkillers I was on for the hand, I was just kind of... out of it.

Now, this wasn't really that bad. I can look back now and tell myself to stop being a baby.  But at the time? It was the worst thing ever.

I vividly remember going to Smith's with all of my friends.  I told them that I had to make a phone call, but really I just didn't want to be around anyone.  So I sat by myself on a bench outside of Smith's in the snow.

For the sake of not looking like a total loser, I called my Dad to make it look like I wasn't just sitting on a bench outside of Smith's in the snow.

He answered, "Hello?" And it just all rushed out. I just started crying. The only words that came out of my mouth were, "I'm not happy.  I can't do this anymore. I'm not happy."

My Dad is the best. I'm not exaggerating.  He gave me some beautiful father advice. It was sweet. But still, I was sitting on a bench. Outside of Smith's. In the Snow. Crying.

(Just a visual of what I looked like.)

Anyways, a few days went by.  I just tried to keep busy and to try to forget the little break down I had.

Then, Kristi, my amazing Stepmom, sent me a text with this post. She told me that it had helped her and that I should read it.

http://lemmonythings.com/2014/01/05/god-will-give-you-more-than-you-can-handle-i-guarantee-it/

So that's what I'm doing here, right now. This blog has helped me, and I'm saying that you should read it.

My Heavenly Father knows me, He loves me.  I was so used to thinking that everything was easy if I was doing what I was supposed to be doing.  I was going to church, I went to FHE (more like I was forced to, as I was the FHE mother), and I was doing things in the right way.

BUT, I hadn't asked for His help.  I was just expecting my Heavenly Father to know what I need.  I mean, He does, but still, I have to ask.

He IS going to give us things we can't handle.  He WILL present us with decisions that seem impossible.  He IS going to give us trials we don't understand.

Why? Because He loves us.  He loves me.  He loves YOU. He wants each of us to come to Him.  I now know that if I do come unto Him, with a broken heart and a contrite spirit, that I will be able to be healed.

That's what I did that winter.  I got down on my knees, and I prayed.  I prayed harder than I've ever had to pray, asking for help.  Asking to not feel so alone.  And what happened? I realized I never was alone.  That He was always right there beside me.

This is one of my favorite photos.  Jesus is there, He is willing to help us through all of this, but He can't open the door.  We have to let Him in.

Don't let there be a #WinterSchlump2015.

D-bags and Tools

"Kristen, you are the female version of a tool."

A few weeks ago one of my co-workers uttered these words to me.  I kind of chuckled, then I was confused, and now I'm just angry.

It all started from a conversation about how I lived at King Henry.  King Henry is known under many different names.  One of my favorite nicknames is, "the Tool Shed."  Well.. why do people think that the tenants of the King are tools? Well let's see.

The Unspoken Rules of King Henry

1. If it's over 75 degrees and you're not at the pool, you're doing it wrong.
2. If you're a guy, the sun is out, and your guns are not out, you're doing it wrong.
3. Snap backs and shorts far above the knee are a must. (Applies to males and female.)
4. If you're sock game isn't on point, you're doing it wrong.
5. You can always fit one more person on the back of your scooter.

...and the list goes on.

So, what makes them tools? Is it because they can have their shirt off and be efficiently covered in tanning oil in 10 seconds flat?  Or maybe it's because even at the gym (Golds, of course) their entire outfit is coordinated.

Well, here it is.


Stop it.  


Stop judging.  Stop introducing yourselves to people, finding out that they live at Belmont, King Henry, or the Village and writing them off as a D-bag.  Stop saying, "Oh, you live in King Henry? How does is feel living with all the Provo All-Stars?" Stop. You know why?

Because the night I broke my hand in three places, I had a group of worthy men at my door ready to administer a blessing to me.  Because whenever I'd walk by the volleyball courts, a friendly face would always shout, "Hey, wanna play? We could use one more!" Because you don't hear me saying, "Oh, you live at the Riv? I hear that all your roommates do is play Dungeons and Dragons."

Moral of this post is to be nice. People are good. Just because they live east of campus doesn't mean that they suck.

*Remember: Judging people is lame.  Unless you're in the right.  Example: If it's below 60 degrees, and the guns are still out (not wearing a shirt) then you have the power and the responsibility to call them a D-bag or tool.  Your choice.

"There is no tool, in this pool." - Richardson 

The BYU Football Player Epidemic

It's definitely been 6 months since my last (and only) post.  I'm the worst, I know.   

Disclaimer: Most of the athletes I know at BYU are the kindest, sweetest, most genuine people I can associate myself with.  This is more about the exception to the rule, not the rule itself.

Yesterday, my friends and I went to the BYU Cougar Kick-off. The people that attend the BYU Cougar Kick-off can be broken down into four groups:

1) Parents with little children getting autographs
2) Hot-shot college athletes
3) College students trying to win free things (Carl's Jr. coupons, water bottles, chaptstick, etc.)

and last but not least..

3) 18-21 year old girls walking around aimlessly to get all the hot boys autographs.

I'm not too sure which of those that my friends and I fell into.  I mean, we walked in with a poster ready for autographs, but left with a purse full of sunscreen flavored chapsticks and cowbells. You can decide which category we fall into.


Now onto my main point.  The BYU Athlete Epidemic.

As you walked onto the field you could see all of the football players standing around just waiting for the girls come and talk to them.  I mean, just w a i t i n g .

Like it was expected! That's the issue. It's like they wear a t-shirt with BYU Football written on the front and they just know that everyone was bowing down to them.  Awkward... my friends and I got a photo with a group of them.  I'm kind of hypocritcal.

But to get that photo? Oh my. I think their exact words were, "Oh. You guys want a photo with us? Well, I guess we could maybe do that for ya." Just imagine that with a bunch of jerky grins and a strong burst of ego in the air.

Then, one of the boys asked my friend if we knew any bad girls, preferably non-mormon girls. He wanted to "hang out" with her. Like, what? Yes, let me whip out my list of all of my questionable Provo friends and hand them over. Please control yourself for like two seconds. Thanks.

Moral of the story is, football players just play a sport.  Hot?  Maybe.  Could cradle me like a baby? Yes. Just like every other student on BYU Campus? Definitely.